perverted Keitaro
by Bluezone777
Summary: a parody of the chapelle show sketch black bush Naru wants to go to war against Keitaro and gives proof that he possess weapons of mass perversion ONE SHOT


Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or anything mentioned here

Words in Italics are thoughts and descriptions

Words in regular type are spoken words

Perverted Keitaro

Parody of the Dave Chappelle Show Sketch Black Bush

if you want to see the real thing go to **kill some time dot com **

**The lead up to war**

Naru Narusewega continues to make her case for a possible war with Keitaro Urashima

After carefully examining the region, me and my friends agree that the area is definitely ripe for regime change

But if I can be real about it.

Be real, girl

real?

be real real girl

That man tried to touch my chest, girl.

Don't play that shit with me

Where did he try to touch you?

HE TRIED TO DO SOMETHING PERVERTED TO ME.

Everything we can't even begin to stomach about this man Keitaro Urashima.

**Outside Intelligence**

Meanwhile, Naru Narusewega and Motoko Aoyama offer a spirted explanation for a possible war with Urashima

This pervert may very possibly have weapons of mass perversion. I can't sleep on that. Not on my watch. That isn't how I roll. That is just fucking serious. Now If you don't want to take my word for it. Why don't you ask Motoko Aoyama. She has a whole another set of intelligence What's up, Motoko.

We don't know much about this perverted man. We can't trust random perverts or monsters like that as Naru so eloquently put it. I am with her one hundred percent of the way. We don't know what this pervert is capable of.

**Proof**

If Narusewega goes to war with Urashima, will she first have to provide evidence that Keitaro Urashima possesses weapons of mass perversion? So far Haruka has found nothing, but Naru Narusewega counters with this.

The pervert bought some petroleum jelly. Do I need to tell you what the fuck you can do with petroleum jelly. PETROLEUM!

That don't scare you, fine. I didn't want to say this. . . . the pervert bought some hidden cameras, okay. He went to the electronics store and bought hidden cameras.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure, dumb ass.

I got a member of the scientific community (Su) right here to tell you

Are you sure! I can't believe these stupid asses! bullshit! bullshit! Me and Sara just came back from the electronics store.

That electronic superstore up the street.

This perv here buying hidden cameras

from the electronics store.

Are you sure they are hidden cameras?

you stupid idiots don't believe me. I got some hidden cameras right here.

Look. see, you believe this shit.

Don't drop that shit!

I now what I am doing here. I got it wrapped in this special wrapper

Don't drop that shit there! _she almost drops it on the floor._

Pray to God she don't drop that shit here.

Hidden cameras.

She's not fucking right

**Money**

A sensitive accusation for this girl here is the theory held by many that the real reason Narusewega is so interested in toppling Keitaro is for control of the vast wealth rumored to be hidden on the grounds

What do you say about the people who say you are only interested in getting the money?

What? Huh? Money? Who said anything about money idiot? You smoking something?

Money?

You say something about money? They all look at each other with a puzzled look on their faces.

Screw you all I am getting the hell out of here. _She and her friends run out of the room while throwing stuff to fool the people listening to her speak._

**Haruka**

Narusewega met with Haruka and has made it clear that she will act even if Haruka is reluctant.

Haruka, you have a problem with that? You know what you should do? You should evict me! Evict me with your managerial powers. Oh! Wait a minute! You aren't the manager! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up. That what I would do if I wasn't the manager. I would shut the fuck up!

Shut!

The!

Fuck!

Up!

That's right Haruka I am not taking orders from a tea shop owner.

You might make sixteen different types of tea. You are going to need that when you are on a street corner selling cheap tea.

I don't need to do that, you see I'm rich.

I got a coalition of the willing. I got forty people ready to roll, son.

Like who?

Who the fuck said that? Huh? Huh? Like who?

Motoko

Su is making playstations

mol mol is willing to drop bombs on Keitaro Urashima.

Amalla Su is coming

Ramba Ru and the Zulu nations

This means that I am doing this by myself and I am not disrespecting Haruka even though she isn't the manager.

Go sell some tea you stupid bitch.

I am trying to get that fortune oh uh money. _Oops, I'm really screwed now._


End file.
